creating imbalance slowly
the wind shifts
and separation catches my jacket
pulling me back like a heavy gust
i scream, and nothing
drowned by the wind
i can only see your back
as you disappear into the storm.
on a shallow bank of a river
i sit, poking my stick at the tendrils of grass underneath the moving water
i have been sad for weeks now
thinking about the cut of your shoulders
as you walked away
what did you mean, wearing that worn, brown jacket?
now, the sadness has turned to a dull ache
something deep underneath the ground
buried, but occasionally like a geyser
spitting out things
that are surprising
in their explosiveness
the horizon steals my breath
i watch the lightning
screaming at the clouds
turbulent air clears my head
as i press my back against the warm boulder
the air is growing cooler now
as the pressure drops and the storm rolls in
many small toads are in the grasses
and i must be careful not to step on their delicate bodies
in this moment i think of you and wonder what you are seeing
the longing stays even into this thunderous moment...
a long highway presses the car seat into my back
like fog the night rolls on across this nevada highway
there are no lights
the tires speed across bumps and pockmarks
my right arm on the wheel as i lean against the car door going 80
in my own spaceship of metal, plastic and glass
thinking about nothing, everything
the meaning of stars,
with all that space pressing down on them...
do they long for impact?
or do they know somehow that it is inevitable that they will run into another star someday exploding across time, and lives, fucking up universes in passionate delight as they merge effortlessly with their destinies....
and at the end of this thought i miss you.
like the sun misses the inevitable.