Impact

Love hurts.

creating imbalance slowly

the wind shifts

and separation catches my jacket

pulling me back like a heavy gust

i scream, and nothing

comes out

drowned by the wind

i can only see your back

as you disappear into the storm.

on a shallow bank of a river

i sit, poking my stick at the tendrils of grass underneath the moving water

i have been sad for weeks now

thinking about the cut of your shoulders

as you walked away

what did you mean, wearing that worn, brown jacket?

now, the sadness has turned to a dull ache

something deep underneath the ground

buried, but occasionally like a geyser

spitting out things

that are surprising

in their explosiveness

the horizon steals my breath

i watch the lightning

screaming at the clouds

turbulent air clears my head

as i press my back against the warm boulder

the air is growing cooler now

as the pressure drops and the storm rolls in

many small toads are in the grasses

and i must be careful not to step on their delicate bodies

in this moment i think of you and wonder what you are seeing

the longing stays even into this thunderous moment...

a long highway presses the car seat into my back

like fog the night rolls on across this nevada highway

there are no lights

no music

the tires speed across bumps and pockmarks

my right arm on the wheel as i lean against the car door going 80

in my own spaceship of metal, plastic and glass

thinking about nothing, everything

the meaning of stars,

alone,

with all that space pressing down on them...

do they long for impact?

or do they know somehow that it is inevitable that they will run into another star someday exploding across time, and lives, fucking up universes in passionate delight as they merge effortlessly with their destinies....

and at the end of this thought i miss you.

like the sun misses the inevitable.